Time.

Alot has been on my mind. I'm trying to take it one at a time. God! I need more time. There's not enough time.

Work is killing. Rebecca stopped work so I had to do her shift on Wednesday, including mine so it's from 5.30 morning start till 6.30pm finish, its going to kill!! OMG... mum said to tell them that I can't do it. I, myself, also feel that I am incapable of doing 13 hrs straight. The thing is I can do 13 hrs straight, that's fine with me, but the thought of coming home and having to worry about uni stuff is exhausting. And the next day, I have a 10am start. I wouldn't mind if I have nothing on the next day or maybe 1 or 2 hrs, but I have a full day from 10 to 5.

So... yeah... How???

At the end of the day, I'm a full time student and studies come first. But, again, I don't have the heart to say no.. I'll see how it goes but I have a feeling I will say no.

And this soy candle project is playing on my mind, should I take it or not since it clashes with that stupid 13 hr work. But I decided to go with it. I like the project. It's an Ambassador project where we're helping small businesses and this business is a soy candle business set up by women. So, our duty is helping to create the product, marketing, financing and promoting the business. Everything essential to a business. It's good for me as a business student to have hands on business experience.

Assignments... duh. Say no more.

Blame the bus.

Yeah. I missed my first tute which believe me I didn't plan to miss it.

I missed the bus I was meant to catch by a minute!!! So fkn frustrating. So, I tot to myself, nvr mind, there always is a next bus. So, I went to the bank to do my banking stuff while waiting for the next bus. Who knows? The bus was LATE!!! I was like ok... if the bus doesn't come in the next minute, I'm going. And yeah. I ended up going. Besides, I will be late to the tute anyway, so why even bother?? And as for the lecture after the tute, I don't even have materials ready, so might as well skip that as well.

But I'm not that dumb la... I went to the library to study to release some guilt. HAHA.

Thinking

Lately, I've been thinking of serving in Worship ministry in OCF.

I've always had this urge to serve in Worship ministry. I've always wanted to serve God through music. I've always had this dream of playing infront of crowds of people. I dunno if its still a dream of mine. But it used to be this way.

Since my old church, God has planted that thought but I didn't do anything about it. Yes. It is a long time ago. Next, it was GB. I was really keen but before I could touch a keyboard, I had to leave. What is the deal with that God?? When I was really keen? there wasn't any opportunity for me.

Then, come Citylife, still, I didn't do anything again. And then last 2 weeks we had a ministry profile in OCF and the Worship ministry was screaming to me but I didn't tick the box. My brother has been asking me about considering signing up to Worship.

But I hesitate.

I keep having second thoughts. TBH, I think I'm quite confident in my capability. I'm just too afraid to go ahead and do it. Last 2 weeks, I was incharge of the PowerPoint for worship and looking at the worship team, I think I was scared because of the people. More like intimidated of their talent and not sure if I can meet up to their standard or equal their standard. I'm used to playing on my own and not with a band thing, or with another instrument like a guitar.

I dunno... But I know once I'm in it, I will be able to get my head around. It's just the first step that is difficult.

What to do? What to do?

I've started practising songs. I found an awesome site with chords to all hillsong songs. But I dunno... I asked myself this, I'm scared to make the first step YET! I'm already practising songs! Isn't it too early??? Should I at least stop myself from going far??? But regardless, I love music, so maybe not.

These days its sooo hard to fall asleep and soooo hard to wake up. I almost forgot to wake up for work. My buzzer went off and I went back to sleep. And almost forgot to wake up! But thank God I didn't. Work wasn't too bad. I got my pay which goes directly to Easter Camp expenses.

My boss tells me I have to come at 5.30 in the morning to replace Rebecca coz she's not coming back anymore. I'm like NOOO!! I knew something like this would happen!!! This suck so much!!! Waking up at 5.00 sucks enough, but I have to stay the whole day, till around 6.30. I don't mind getting to work at 5, coz it means I'm making full use of my time but the thing is I have to stay till the end. I would be dead by the end of it and won't be able to do anything else (other than sleep of course). Plus, I've got Ambassador duties.

Damn. Goodness.... I'll see how it goes. Hopefully, he starts getting casual workers out.

Last night, I had a pleasant surprise! My cell gave me a huge, unexpected surprise. Quite embarrassing to think of it, but yeah, it was quite unexpected. Thank you guys!!! Love the cake.

Report. :(

Today was a super long day.

It was sooo hard to wake up in the morning. Thank goodness I reminded myself to put an alarm or else I would forget to wake up.

I was late to my finance tute. Not my fault ok??? I missed the shuttle bus in like 1 minute. Quite sad. But I still manage to get answers (by copying of someone else) to most questions, esp. questions that I had issues with. Then, the rest of the day is just lectures, lectures, lectures. Surprisingly, I got something out of all 3 lectures. In particularly, the finance lecture, I GOT SOMETHING OUT OF IT, which is VERY UNUSUAL!! Somewhat comforting!! :)

Then, I had to stay back with Monique to finish up assignment. OMGoodness, accounting is soooo very frustrating and tedious. We were trying to get everything to balance and the stupid thing didn't balance!!! It was sooo frustrating ok?? And both of us were tired, just surviving on V. So, we had to go back to search for mistakes. It took a long time for us to go through all the transactions one after another to see where we gone wrong. But luckily, it balance in the end so hurray!!! :)

Now, I'm half dead. I have to get something from Priceline tmrw to receive my free credit before end of this mth. And heaps of assignment to start tmrw.

Things are looking good atm. :) Sleeping in tmrw.... WEEE.... I love Fridays!!

Morning spend in uni.

I came an hour early to uni. Don't ask how or why. Must have misread the clock. Thank goodness for internet coz internet at home is starting to get slow. :)

I'm still full from yesterday's dinner at Sofia. OMG. I have no idea why. Somehow lost my appetite. It's 5 in the arvo now, and I'm not hungry? I barely had any breakfast and zip lunch at all!!

I must not spend anymore, at least till my next pay. I've spend most of my last 2 pays on textbooks, for my birthday celebration and living expenses eg. phone credit, transport. I've been reading alot of blogs about people's spenditure esp. on clothing. Man... I must resist.

I'm starting to like the kitchen in the library. HAHA. yes, we have a kitchen beside the library. It's super nice, with a fridge, microwave and hot water filter. And, THERE'S A COFFEE MACHINE IN THE KITCHEN! Okay.. technically not a coffee machine, but a coffee machine dispenser. LOL. I had a go and it and it taste pretty alright, it comes out frothy and OMG! the smell!! Everytime someone gets one, the place just fills with coffee smell!!! The only thing is that it comes out in really tiny amount.

I have less pimples now. :) *cue hallelujah music*

I will quickly blog about last night (and get back to my readings).

Yesterday, I went to a bar at Hawthorn. I wouldn't say club coz it doesn't look like a club. We sneaked in before the guy checks for ID. BUT FYI I am legal ok? Just no ID with me!

The first few hours were boring. Really! U just sit there and do nothing. U try to engage in conversation but after a while its like wtever, and give up. I, now understand why most people are tempted to get drinks again and again. But, I was being good. :) I did not touch a single drink but stole sips from other people. LOL.

Then, it got so crowded and like lots of people were smoking and (I think) 2 girls were smoking weed. I'm not sure tho but that on the tips of their fingers were not ciggies. So, yeah, I was basically suffocating. OMG... there was this girl who "borrowed" my straw. LOL. It was sooo weird. She was drinking from her cup and then took my straw (that I used) and sip through it. I was like wth... HAHA.

The best bit was the dance floor. Khuong end up not coming coz he had to babysit. Damn. If not, dancing would be so much fun. I saw alot of "make out" scenes. OMG, there was these 3 girls that I saw earlier, that I assume came without any guys coz I saw them just them 3. And then, on the dance floor, they were dancing with 3 guys and making out with them. And I'm like girls!! Where is ur self-worth??? I could be wrong, they could be boyfriends or friends of them but still, going to a bar and picking up random guys, guys u barely know.... etc.. And being so intimate with them like that. They even went home separately and who knows what next. Yeah.

I saw alot of hot guys, mostly Aussies. And to my least surprise, there was not one Asian. If Khuong came, he would be the only Asian guy. I was like where is all the Asian guys?? At home studying?? LOL. But, most of the guys there are very rude. Yeah. But honestly, I don't think I'm a club/bar person coz I prefer sober conversations over nice food. Seriously, it was sooo hard to talk coz it was really noisy, too crowded and over polluted by tobacco. And I was tired after work.

The only good thing was the dance floor. I love dance floors... I love the crystal ball, disco lights and DJ remix. :) The adrenaline rush is just awesome!!

I'm 20. It feels weird, it feels unreal. LOL. YAY!! I've lived 2 decades and hopefully more to come. Choi, touch wood. Some people say I don't look 20 and astonishingly, some say I act beyond 20. HAHA.

So fkn tired, and I still have to READ. Argh!!!!!!!!

Later going to Sarah's 20th and my informal 20th celebration as well. :P. I cannot wait. It's going to simply be awesome. AND Khuong's coming, yay!!! I love u Khuong!!! :)

Yesterday, OCF was soo much fun!!! We had our first cell and my cell is awesome. We played love ur neighbour. It is seriously funny!!! :) Then, we had a discussion on Faith. There were some "heated discussion" on Faith but I learned alot from this discussion. I learned that Faith is a God given gift and belief is action of faith. But faith lives in everyone.

I also like how my work comes the morning after OCF. Coz after OCF, I feel energised, refreshed and motivated. I won't say I'm more motivated to work but I must say I'm less grumbling and complaining to wake up at 6.30 and work my arse out. So, yeah.

I dunno what the heck I'm typing. Ugh... reading. Stupid.

This week went like a rocket. So much to do, so little time. The workload is horrendous and its only week 3!!! Only week 3!!! I cannot imagine the weeks after this.. I dare not imagine the hecticness of assignments and reports and test and the big exam.

I still have alot to do, eg. reading for Commercial Banking and Finance and accounting questions. And then next week, I have to start the whole cycle all over again, eg, readings and tute questions for another week. Not to mention, I'm sick again. I've been sick on and off ever since school started. My head is killing, been on panadols for 2 days now.

But I'm happy with the progress I've made. I'm up to date with most things. I've made myself go to all tutorials which by the way, helped ALOT with my understanding. I also try to do as much as possible. Really, sometimes I feel that maybe I'm pressuring myself at times, to do everything all at once. ]

BUT, I will let my hair down this weekend coz its my 2oth and I will celebrate it and relax. :)

Watches and cameras

People... should I buy a camera??? I'm quite hesitant coz I know the camera is only for special times. But, who knows, I could be busy snapping away with a handy cam in my bag.

Oh no... once I blog about buying something, I'm sure to go ahead with it.

But, should I???

I still have a watch to buy tho. And a watch is something I really need compared to a camera. But, by chance, dad will be getting a watch for me for my birthday. If not, I might delay the camera and get a watch instead.

But, probly right now isn't such a good idea. I'm still not over the textbook expenses. Man...textbooks are bloody expensive!! Maybe 3-6 mths down the track, once I've saved up enough.

I survived three lectures in a row!!! Phew...And I have to do that for the next 10 weeks! HUHU... Uni is sooo much fun!!! XP

Tomorrow I'm supposed to go shopping for my 20th outfit. But my bro's sick and as a big sis, I have to stay home to take care of him. My mum is putting the blame on me coz I was sick last week and she's pointing the finger at me. Yeah yeah, I'm always the scapegoat.

Oh!! and every time some one in the family is sick, mum always grumbles that none of us three are studying medic/pharmacy/opto/dentistry... etc. U know all those health science courses....

This week has been alright. OMGoodness, I was fine on Tuesday night and yesterday morning the headache came back again. I dunno what really. I was really fine on Tuesday night!!! I was even lying in bed planning my Friday shopping and planning Aun Shiang's 19th meet up straight after shopping. And the very next morning, I got this massive headache, and flush hotness. Now, I'm not sure whether I'm sick or whether I'm just tired from whole day of uni.

GAH! Oh yeah, I missed a phone call by a second. I was about to hit the button and the call stopped! It is super frustrating!! But I think I know who it is. :)

Man... printing out lecture notes is sickening me!!!! Argh... stupid AIS lecturer went and put the notes in slide form format, which makes it sooo hard to print!!! Like wth... I know, its Accounting INFORMATION SYSTEM and we're supposed to be pros in computer things but still... we're business students and not information tech students!!!

So, I was too frustrated with it so I came blogging instead.

GRR... and work today was alright. I got pay rise, by a dollar but still good to me. The baker is annoying me again. He brought up the u-have-to-convince-customers thing again. Okay.. it began when customers walk in the shop and walk out WITHOUT BUYING ANYTHING. I am soooo very tired of hearing him again and again lecturing me about how every cent counts to our pay. Like wth... first, our pay is fixed, its not performance based and second, no matter how hard sales are coming in, the boss still has to find a way to pay u that amount, regardless if sales went down or sky rocketed.

OMG... I could have scream at him then and there. And then he just had to point out that the customer that left brought cake from another shop. HE JUST HAD TO!!! And I'm like so??? Does it look like I blardy care?? I don't care whether a customer choose to buy or not to buy from our shop.

Here's my defence, if a customer just looks around, doing research, checking out prices/cakes from different shops, the customer is searching for a better deal. The customer has a right to go around looking at every shop and decide to buy from which shop. At the end of the day, I cannot make that decision for them, it is ultimately their cash, their decision. He always make it was my fkn fault. Why not he try to sell something and see?? Most of the time the customer either doesn't listens or doesn't pay attention to what u say AND! I probly freak the customer out and make them uncomfortable if I just stand there and stare at them. I feel uncomfortable too standing there, with his two eyes looking at me and went they leave without buying anything, it feels like I'm going to be in trouble.

I'm the one he always picks on. I dunnoo... but I didn't see him do it to others.

OM Goodness... U guys might think that I'm the one needing to change my thinking. Yes, its true some things he said about my working attitude and I have tried my very best to change these things. But in this instance, honestly, I have look at every aspect from my attitude to how I work before putting the blame on someone else. Seriously, I don't see what I did wrong. I did my best to make customers happy, be friendly, be efficient, be hardworking but still he finds fault in every little things.

Argh!! I just want to do like those in the movies, I just want to run to the sea and scream my fkn breath out. He's just so annoying. I'm still tolerating him. Maybe God put me with him to test my patience. God... u have gone too far. :P

I hate it that everyone is soooo carefree in life. Hmph.

As u can see... I'm blogging less now. Not because I have no time, just there's nothing to blog about. There's nothing interesting in uni, its all about attending tutes and lectures, bumping into familiar faces in uni, meeting new people in tutes and lectures and hard work to catch up with every weeks stuff.

I fell out of bed today, like literally fell out of bed. I accidentally bit my lips and my arms hurt like shit. I changed the layout of my room and it looks much cozier now. It also takes some time to get used to it. My bed is right beside the window which is kinda scary at night coz I sometimes picture someone looking through the window. And my desk is now where my bed used to be. LOL.

Alright. I gtg to uni now. Yeah! AIS!! I will be playing with excel... and maybe FBing. LOL.

OMG!!!!!!

Marcus's cute daughter finally FINALLY hugged me!!!! Her name's Talia!!! She's 1 plus years old. She is sooooo cute and adorable!!! She used to be very scared of me, always running away and jiggling to get away everytime I carry her. But today, I waved bye at her and she ran to hug me. It was unbelievable, like a real hug, arms wide open and all.

It was soooo cute okay????

Btw, Marcus is another ROAR leader (not some random guy on the street). He and his wife, Elvina joined our group 2 yrs ago. They have 3 cute, adorable daughters, the youngest is Talia. OMG! She is sooooo cute!!! I almost wanted to kidnap her and take her home with me. We had our last ROAR for this semester. That's why I was saying bye to her, and she unexpectedly came to hug me!!! HAHA. I like it! It kinda made my day.

Dang. Should have taken a photo. HAHA. Next time. :) I have to clean my room to make studying easier. LOL. And also retrieve all the lost things in my bedroom, eg. combs, lippy, hair tie, hair clips etc...

I burnt my thumb at work today... It hurts so frigging much. Imagine touching something straight out of a hot oven!! That's what I did!!!

GRRRR.... stupid baker! Still dare to make fun of me. Seriously, he has no sympathy whatsoever. But work today went really quick. It was much more busy than usual. Every second there was a customer. Funny how customers always come at the same time and not one after the other. It would always be a flock of customers and then silence and then another flock of customers. LOL. Before I knew, it was already 30minutes left of work. I didn't even have lunch break. Weird enough, I wasn't even hungry or tired. Maybe all the running around has made me energetic and awake.

AND!! Rimmel London cosmetics is on sale. Damn. OMG... I was sooo tempted ok??? But, I resisted. I don't wear makeup anyway, or put it as I don't have time for makeup. LOL.

So tired.

Aun Shiang's 19th on Monday. I will be nice and treat her to lunch. HEHE. Nah.. coz she's here alone without her family. So, as a good friend, I will help her celebrate her last teen year.

*Sigh* Mine's almost coming to an end.

I'm at uni now. It's so quiet in the T computer building. I'm sooo tired now. I had a headache since Sat night and now I think I'm down with a cold.

And the thing is that there is no Corp law tute today... like wth. My weekly schedule tells me I should have tute today BUT! after checking blackboard (which the lecturer stupidly only put it up this morning) said there's no tute for week 1. And now I'm debating whether to attend the 3 o'clock lecture.

Hmm... at least there's free food during O-week.

I practically wasted a whole day in uni. I am so tired now. Oh boy, the tute I dread the most is on tomorrow. I'm praying to get a different tutor. Praying very hard.

I am ready.

Uni starts tmrw. TBH, I am more excited than anxious. I was anxious and stressed before but Ambassador camp made everything better, whole lot better and put everything into perspective. I feel more confident and in control than before.

So far everything is doing good.

I've got my concession card done. Damn, the ticket price has gone up by alot. Previously, it was around $5.30 for 5x daily, zone 2, concession ticket and now, the cost is $10.10. I was like shit, it's gone up by ALOT. I wouldn't mind if it gone up by 1 or 2 dollars but 5 dollars is extreme. Ah wells... not like I'm cashless right??

I've organised all my books. Thanks Jenine for selling me ur AIS and corp. law books for a fraction of the price!! Much appreciated!! :)

My timetable is awesome!! I am soooo happy!!! I only have 3 days I need to go to uni, Mon, Tues and Thursday. Thank goodness for that coz last year I have to go for 4 days per week. My earliest is 10 in the morning. Thursday is my pack day where I have lectures one after the other. But, thank goodness it's in the same lecture theatre.

And I'm working 2 days starting from now, which is a great plus coz I will see less of that idiot. :) AND! I have Friday all for myself. No uni and work!! Woohoo!! :)

Oh wait.. I haven't clean my room yet. Oh, and too bad I only have one same unit with him. Maybe that's what happen last yr...