My 20th is coming!!! I cannot wait to turn 20. HEE HEE. I really should plan how I'm going to celebrate my 20th but really, tbh, I cannot be bothered. BUT! I made a deal to celebrate every 10 yrs of my life.

I want a cute birthday cake!!! Cute ones with detailed decoration. I reckon Asian bakery have cute cakes. Yesterday, I was at Glen Waverley and went around all bakery to check out their cakes. The cakes look so cute, I was swooning and wowing at the cakes in the fridge. Box Hill has got cute cakes too!! It's sooo cute especially the little ones. It looks too cute to be eaten. HAHA. But get me a big one, preferably a cake that last me 1 month. LOL. I like fresh cream cakes NOT icing cakes.

Other than that, I want a watch as well. I've been hinting my parents to get me a decent watch. Despite Chinese superstition that giving someone a watch or clock is bad luck, I still want a watch. LOL. Dunno if they got the idea yet tho. HAHA.

Piss is the word.

I am freaking piss right now. The baker needs to go die and burn in a hole!!

Alright, work today was very good. I was at my best. I was running around just to get the job done quickly ( I was really really running around). I timed myself in everything little thing I did to make sure I was efficient enough. I was making alot of sales and being very friendly and smiley and saying thank you and have a nice day.

I was running around until the last 30 minutes of work, I slowed down abit coz I've done everything that needs to be done and I have nothing else to do, so I just stood there staring at the ceiling. And seeing it was the last 30 minutes, I just stood there and wait for customers while Angela do the stock take and while Veeta was cleaning the coffee machine.

And that stupid stupid stupid moron came I told me I WASN'T WORKING HARD ENOUGH!!! Wtf. Wtf. Wtf. Me?? Not working hard enough??? I busted my ass off whole morning serving customers, running around, cleaning this and that, doing odd jobs that no one else wants to do. AND THIS IDIOT SAID I'M NOT WORKING HARD ENOUGH!!! I was and am soooo upset and angry and frustrated at him. What does he know??? What?? What??? What?? He told me that people who get laid off are those who don't work as hard. I'm like whatever... asif I care!! Asif. U think I'm going to be so scared??? I'm going to get a better job anyway that pays whole lot better... so why would I care??

But, I did not argue with him like I did last time. I just sucked it all up and let it go. I was at the edge of argueing with him but I didn't. This is harassment to it's highest level, I wasn't going to put up with it but seeing whatever I said means absolutely nothing to him, I decided to let it go. No point getting back at him, there's nothing I need to prove to him anyway. I know I've done my best, I don't need someone like him to tell me shit things.

ARGH!! Damn. After all that, I still feel like shit.

The nice.

What a day today was.

It started out disappointing. Well, I was supposed to help out for Beach Day today but turns out, I had to go to a training which I absolutely was not told about and hence, was not allowed to go. Damn u monsu people!! I swear they have something against Asians!!! The whole volunteering team was bloody Australians, there was no Asians and such. I was really looking forward to the Beach Day and it really sucks to not be able to go.

But, life is such.

So, Madu and I went to Chaddy instead to hang around. We waited for Madu's friend and then watched "The Unborn". Seriously people, WATCH THAT MOVIE!!! It is freaking awesome!!! It's not very scary to be honest coz all the scary bits are in the trailer. The story line is nice, not great but nice. It was alright. The ending is abit off tho, coz I think it should be longer.

Then, once we finished watching "The Unborn", we went "cinema hopping". We were popping into every theatre to see what movie is on. And, we settled with a movie that I don't even know what the title is. It's about this dentist who went under the knife and had dramas with the anesthetic. After that, he could see people wandering around who was dead. But, no, its not a horror film. Those dead people were nice and all and were asking him to help them fulfill their final wishes. So, he met this dead man who needs help with his wife. The dentist ended up liking the wife and started a relationship with her. PEOPLE!!! WATCH THIS MOVIE AS WELL!! It is freaking hilarious and surprisingly, very emotional (esp. the ending)!!! I googled and the title's "Ghost Town". Watch it people!! It's very good!!

Then, I went to an OCF BBQ. Someone told me I look more Korean than Malaysian (wahseh!!) a HUGE compliment to me!!! Some even thought I'm angmoh mixed. LOL.

So, despite not being able to go to the beach day, the day turned out good. I love shorts now. I can show off my athletic legs in short shorts. I'm very tempted to wear shorts tmrw but due to hygienic reasons, maybe not.

Damn he's not a Christian. I love facebook stalking!!! Just damn.And no I am not going to even try to change him.

God why r u doing this to me?? Why can't u give me a Christian that is not taken??? Do u want me to go single forever and be an old maid???

See... the guys I meet are either taken, gay or non-christian. What's the deal with that????

I can deal with taken guys coz I tend to be happy for them and of course breakups in relationships are inevitable, as well as gay guys coz they are whole lot fun and they make u laugh to the point u kinda treat them as close "girlfriends" and forget about how cute they are. But non-christians?? It's like a stab in the heart. It's like there's no obstacle between u and them and u are tempted to get close but scared about liking them. As for taken guys, they have a "girlfriend barrier"; gay guys just make u feel so comfortable. But there's no barrier between u and non-christian guys, maybe psychological ones but not physical ones.

But, its ok. Good thing I knew it earlier if not, it would be serious detrimental damage made. But doesn't mean I cannot flirt right?? LOL.

YAY!! No work today!! Only 2 days this week. I can laze around for this two days and then start getting busy with O-week activities. I am sooo excited!!! :)

Camp Ambassador!!!

CAMP WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My goodness!!! Best weekend I've ever had!!!! I've got no pictures to show (as usual).

So here's what I did, in dot points coz too lazy to elaborate (maybe later).

Friday

• Reach camp in the evening and immediately had dinner. Italian dinner of lasagna, pasta, salad and choc mousse dessert.
  
• Got settled in, and then what did we do??? *think* *think* (Man... I think I have short term memory). Had a brief welcome and introduction session, ice break etc...

Saturday

• Woke up at 6.30 to have a walk on the beach. Breath-taking!!!
  
• Guest speaker from Monash about communication and culture diversity.
• Then, we broke into groups of three and then had these problem solving and leadership activities.
  
• OH!! And this was the fun bit!!! After the dinner, we had a bonfire and we were sharing stories etc. And then, we had a walk in the dark on the oval. Quite scary but after a while was quite fun. And we actually played games in the dark which was SOOOOO much fun!!!
  

Sunday

• We got our Ambassador t-shirt printed!! It looks sooooo pretty!!!
  
• A speaker came to talk to us about planning and visioning in the morning which was very inspiring. It kinda motivates me this year and for once, made me look forward to uni which starts next week. GOSH!!!
  
• In the afternoon, we had physical activity. It was the best!!! First, I did the high ropes. Scary, but I managed to complete it. Then, it was the flying fox. And lastly, the giant swing!!! OMGosh... Giant swing was the best!!! It was sooo scary coz ur swinging in mid air and feels like ur going to . So, that was awesome!!
• Then, group photo. Then home.
  

I had the best time. Met a whole lot of new friends, I reckon I know everyone on camp!!! This was definitely the experience I was looking for. Challenging...inspiring...exhilarating...what more could u ask for??? I definitely did push myself to make new friends, speak up, go beyond my limits... etc.

AND!!! My roomies!! Jacintha, Yee Soon and Cheysha!!! U guys are the best!!! Camp wouldn't be great without u guys!! I met someone... HAHA. I said I wasn't going to elaborate!!!

I'm soooo freaking tired now.

Camp.. I cannot wait.

I'm going on camp Friday to Sunday!!

I'm so excited that I can explode right now. The excitement is building up!!! I took time off work and Roar. It kinda makes me feel abit guilty but I made up my mind to give equal priority to everything I'm doing, be it work, ROAR, Ambassador and OCF. BUT of course, greater priorities to my studies!!

I remember something Ps. Mark Conner.

"If u were to have an operation, would u want to have a surgeon that is unconfident, tired, stress OR a surgeon that is confident, ready and knows what to do. Of course, someone that is capable, experience and ready."

And then he continue saying that "We should put in 100% to what we do. We should not commit to something and don't have the energy to do the best, always rocking up feeling tired and stress and end up doing bad. We should conserve our energy and give time out for ourselves to be ready for challenges ahead. Energy is the key!!!"

This really spoke to me. AND I heard this on a Christian radio station!!! So... yeah... it is more like a motivation than a challenge for me. I can totally relate to being tired and stress, always running around doing things for others, and neglecting myself. So, this time, its more about prioritizing and giving my all to the things I've committed.

Oh, my period came a week earlier than I expected. I am soooo happy. First time I felt happy to have my period. I'm always sulking and moody when I'm on my 'Ps'. My period always comes on the right time. HAHA. And weird enough, I didn't get any tummy cramps or wobbly legs this time round. That means I can have more fun during camp!!!!!!! LOL. The thing that is bugging me is this blister I got on my foot. I hope it heals before tmrw. I cannot imagine salt water and blisters. Ugh... So please heal immediately....

Crushing down.

I bumped into another of my crush. I swear... I keep again and again bumping into crushes, unintentionally of course. Like duh... why in the world would I want to see them.

Today, I was supposed to stay home all day. Saz wanted to go to the beach but I just feel like staying home, u know, just one of those days. But, then they changed it. Instead of beach, they decided to see a movie. And so, I went. And coincidentally, Li was working at Pancake Parlour (which was outside the cinemas), handing out Pancake Parlour's flyers. And unbelievably, he remembers and recognizes me. We had a little chat. I think I was abit embarrassed, more like what-do-i-say-now moments. But, yeah.

Weird thing was I didn't know about the movie. I kinda casually knew about the movie thing through Alka on msn. AND! Alka NEVER goes on msn, its like a once in a blue moon thing for her to be on msn. So, yeah, it was sorta like a last minute thing to go. And, what did I know, I bumped into Li. Just luck, or is it a sign??? LOL. But, it was good seeing him. At least, I know he's still alive. LOL.

FYI, we watched He's just not that into you. It's a shit movie!! Do not watch it!!! It's not worth ur 12 bucks. But this time I paid 8 dollars, so not much complaining. BUT! Seriously... it is a crap movie!! Story line is blah!!! Do not watch it!!!

Work today was not so bad. I was less tired after work coz I got two breaks in-between instead of one!! It was soooo hard to wake up in the morning. The bed was soooo cozy and warm and the pillows were so soft, I hardly want to wake up. I was sooo tempted to sleep till 7am but forced myself to wake up at around 6.40am.

Good news for my cousin. No, she's not getting married but she's finally going out with someone. I am very happy!!! Can't wait for them to get married!!! Then, I get to eat their cake!!! LOL.

I really want to shop but I have to be very very careful with my money. U know what I want to do? Walk into a shop, get everything I like and walk out without looking at the price tag or contemplating whether to get it or not. But, days like this call for greater care for money. Wouldn't it be great if money did grow on trees like apples and oranges. Sigh...

Happy VDay!!! I'm too tired to think. To me, its just another Saturday where I wake up at 6.30, bust my ass at work, come home with sore legs and in bed at 10.

Rants.

Sally will not blog about that idiot from work. Enough said about the moron.


ENOUGH!!!

Of glads. and white tees.

I brought myself a pair of gladiator sandals, since I really wanted something gladiator-ish, be it boots or heels or sandals.

Actually I didn't go out searching for the gladiator sandals. It kinda came to me. After lunch, I stopped by Payless Shoes and decided to go in and have a look. So, I came across this pair of silver metallic/golden glad. sandals. I immediately loved it to bits!!! AND!! I got it for 9 dollars!! Cheap as!! Is it not a bargain or what??

At first, I was quite hesitant because of the colour, it would be better if it was brown or black. My brother said the sandals look very grandma-ish. But, who could resist a 9 dollar thing, so... I finally got it. It feels very comfy on my feets and given I had blisters on my foot yesterday, the sandals did not irritate the blisters... so all good!!

Now, I can wear it with my white shorts. I also got a white cotton tee for 8 dollars at Dolly Girl for printing or dyeing during camp. Speaking of camp, I hope I don't get my period during camp. It would totally suck, but the probability of having it is quite high coz its exactly a month from my last period.

Year 4

It's been 4 yrs, I've called Australia home. Exactly 4 yrs on Feb 6.

I remember the time I left M'sia, it was very hard. Harder than I thought, leaving a place that has been my home full of childhood and growing up memories. I remember the Perth trip where mum was buying souvenirs for friends and family and I wanted one too but mum said we will be back to Australia anyway, so no need for souveniers. I was really scared coz I really did not want to leave. I cried in class when I told my best friend Lee Nee I was going. We cried together. Even Phet Ling stopped me by suggesting that I stay at her house.

And weird enough, thinking back, I was just about to be quite comfortable in Kuching. Everyone started to like me and respect me, I was friends with everyone. I was just about to go into YL position in GB (which I was very looking forward at that time) and I was going to play piano for GB (which was a dream of my at that time). I also started to be active at church and getting to know all the people in youth. I wasn't ready to leave.

And suddenly, I have to leave. Isit bad timing or what??? Sometimes I ask God that. Why take me away when I have taken so long to establish strong relationships and reconnect with people that once hated me?? Why take me away when I have alot to offer to GB and my church?? But, it wasn't mine to decide. Actually, I decided not to occupy my mind about leaving. I refrain myself from thinking of the pros and cons of leaving because I know at the end of the day I will leave regardless.

I think I' m quieter than before. Others tell me I talk less now. They tell me last time I used to talk non-stop (I didn't even know that I was very talkative last time). But now, every time there's a gathering or meet-up, I don't say anything unless someone ask me a question or I have something important to say. I would just sit there and listen or smile or day dream. HAHA.

So, yeah, here I am 4 yrs later, changed for the better. I am still serving in church, I am still pursuing my accounting dream, I've gained strong friendships, friendships that I didn't have to fight for like back then. I've got stronger mentally and EMOTIONALLY.

Determination

I forgot to blog about ROAR last Sun.

It was as usual, awesome. We were learning about determination. Pete and Keith were teaching the kids about Paul. U know the story of how Saul, who was a rebellious Christian hater who was very keen on killing all the Christians. And then, God spoke to him and he change his ways into a devoted Christian. Paul went to lengths to deliver God's message. Even though he had to endure hardship, he still was very DETERMINE to get others to know God and accept Him.

It kinda spoke to me. God told me not to give up. God reminded me that we're in this together and that this is mine and His race. Amazing, how I learn TOGETHER with the kids. It's much interesting than weekend sermons, nah, just joking. It's just that weekend sermons are more mature material and serious stuff, where as kids church stuff is quite entertaining and relaxing.

I even made the craft with the kids. It was a paper with this written on it :

"Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1

I decorate it with stickers, paper flowers and stars. I have it on my wall. I even showed it to mum very proudly like 5 yo kid. It is an encourager as well as a motivation for me. When hope dies down, I can look and see that there is still hope out there.

This will spur me on this year.

Shopping for guys.

My baby brother is a genius!!! My lappie broke down on Sun and he managed to fix it!! Actually, it was the mouse that was spoiled and he fix it. So happy.

Anyway speaking of my baby brother, we went shopping for his t-shirt yesterday. Gosh... it was really hard to find a decent t-shirt. He wanted a red t-shirt for swimming sports coz he's in the red team. And we search and search. Almost all shops have all the other colours but red!! Super annoying ok?? And because he's really skinny, most of the t-shirts don't fit him.

It's kinda hard shopping for guys esp. clothing for guys coz there's not many guy clothing shops around. Most guy clothing shops are joint with female clothing as well and alot of them are formalish shops with suit and ties. There are not many casual shops for guys. And the options are really limited. It's either t-shirt, long sleeve collar shirt or jeans. That's about it the pattern I see in every shop. I reckon if I'm a designer, I would design guys clothing coz of the demanding market. I would make good money out of it.

It makes me lucky to be a woman. LOL. The options are endless. Speaking of which, I got myself a pair of shorts. My first pair of shorts.

Diabetic cakes!!!

I am so fkn tired.

Woke up at 6.30 for work, 9 hrs running around and no sitting except for my 15 mins of break, damn. Oh, and did I mention that it was freaking 46 degrees today?? The highest temperature ever recorded!! I almost died on the shop attic!!!! And the air condition was abit gay.

But work was ok. I did some wrapping of the diabetic cakes and cherry flan. I LOVE WRAPPING DIABETIC CAKES!!! I dunno why tho. Even the baker could see I love wrapping diabetic cakes so he kept asking me to do it. I, of course agreed. LOL.

I think I'll go to sleep after dinner. But, its too hot to sleep. :(

Hmm... I need a new blog name.

Lunges, econometrics and BB Cream!!!

My bum, thighs, calves and hips hurts alot. I've been doing lunges which is a exercise that shapes ur thigh and especially bum. No time to explain, just google it if ur interested. It hurts to roll around in bed and walk, even harder to sit. But, its good pain, pain indicates that ur muscles are pulling apart and once the muscles heal itself, it tends to get even stronger than before, thus giving me muscular legs. :) Maybe I should have a cold shower later to relief the pain because (according to chemistry.. arh.. trusty yr 12 chem!! LOL.) cold water breaks down some acid in the muscle named lactic acid or something like that. Hmm.. care to correct me if I'm wrong.

Oh yeah.. i got a letter from Monash. They are encouraging me to take up econometrics. LOL. I was like wth... shouldn't this letter come during enrolment time?? NOT after enrolment date?? Weird.. Even weird is I got a C, and they think I'm suitable to do a minor in econometrics?? HAHA.

I think I'm going to get myself some BB cream. Also, google it if ur interested. I tried a sample from The Face Shop and holy moly, first foundation (actually not a foundation, its a base cream but acts like a foundation) that I love!! Easy apply, ok scent, light and ABSORBLE!! It's not cakey and immediately absorbs into my skin!!! With normal foundation, I have to mix it with moisturiser coz it leaves my skin dry and cakey.

AND!! It covers blemishes, hence the name BB, Blemish Balm. Too bad it doesn't come in a selection of tones like foundations. It only comes in one colour. The one I tried was really pale coloured, I look like a ghost, but after bronzer it looks much natural. I guess its made for fair Asian ladies, rather than black or tanned people.

Maybe pop by Box Hill's Missha to have a look. YAY!! To the Koreans for their super invention!!!

Of St.Kilda.

Met up with the girls at St. Kilda.

I LOVE ST. KILDA!!!

It is pure heaven. For those who don't know, St. Kilda is a bayside town, abit outside the city. It has a beachy lifestyle with coffee shops, boutiques, restaurant by the sea and high rise apartments with cute trams. I hope to live there one day in the future. But, I heard from Sarah that there are many drug addicts and prostitutes in St. Kilda. She even dare joked about syringes on beaches. But, it really is a good place to live coz its very close to the city, not some deserted, out-of-no-where town, and close to the ocean some more. It would be good to wake up to sunrise and ocean seas than high-rise building right???

By chance, there was a hippy festival going on at St. Kilda. So, the atmosphere was really great. It look like a celebration in some folk village. There were all types of food, African to Swedish to Moroccan. There was even a stand called "Chocolate Orgasm". LOL. But, we decided to dine in a Vegetarian restaurant, which was alright. I'm not a huge fan of vegan food, I prefer a dose of meat somewhere. Although not to my liking, food was alright. After that, we went to "Chocolate Orgasm" to get some dessert.

Then, we took the tram to Southern Cross and then the train home. Then, we saw Jared, his friend, Rui and Kanji. HAHA. It's very usual to bump into familiar people on public transport. Oh yeah... I saw Sean in the bus!! LOL. Hmm... coincidence!! He keeps popping up in unexpected places. I pretended I didn't see him, I think he did the same.

Hair, choc and reunion?

I hate human hair. Facial hair and body hair. I just spent 1 hr plucking my eyebrows. 1 hr!! Not like I care coz I was super bored. But, still its quite irritating. I just plucked them 2 weeks ago and 2 weeks later it grows out of shape, into a horrendous bush. U spend one hr to get them into the ideal shape, hoping it will stay and 2 weeks later holy moly!! It goes out of shape and have to repluck them. I wouldn't mind if no one sees them but eyebrows! How can u hide eyebrows???

OH! Sometimes I don't get the girls on Survivor. U know the reality show where they r stuck on a deserted island?? They seems to have absolutely no hair at all!! I was like wow... why?? How the heck??? Their eyebrows are still very well-shaped, their underarm are clean, and no body hair!! Maybe someone sneaked a shaver in or maybe they r well prepared with electrolysis hair reduction, or permanent body hair reduction. LOL.

There's too much chocolate at home. HAHA. Most of them are gifts from CNY guests. And mum brought these packets of Tim Tams coz they were on sale, 1.99 each. It's the exclusive dessert range. There's hazelnut, cherry, black forest and original. I think I like original the best, coz its original... Hmm...

Oh yeah. We have a group for our primary school class in FB. Man... does it bring back memories. It's weird how I still remember ALOT, not a little but ALOT esp. what people say I still remember very well. HAHA. I am amazed of the amount of people (ex-classmates) that are in Melbourne. I swear I had no idea. Mao Ling, Ray Tie, Eman Chan are here. Chin Chin and Happy are coming. Wow... to think no one ever comes to Melbourne. HAHA.

Lala... work.

Work today was great. I did well. I am so happy, at last. I am more than happy, I'm satisfied. Management (duh...) tells us a satisfied worker is a productive worker.

I feel very established, very successful, very accomplished. I have a job, and that's what matters. I am in a good position. Yes, I didn't get the internship I wanted. Yes, I envy others who got into big, huge accounting firms esp. the big four (damn.. hate all of u). Yes, I envy those who claimed they are working but seems to be able to "facebooking" while "working".

But I cannot complain. I'm very lucky to have a job when the economy is at it's lowest, when many other people are facing employment difficulty. I think I'm at a good point. I have continuous flow of income into my account, just something to keep me secure financially. I need not depend on my parents. I have full control of my finances. I get valuable knowledge and experience and vital problem solving skills. AND! I learn about all things German and Swiss (the bakery specialises in German and Swiss things).

I'm starting to like this job again. After so long, to think I almost quit. I guess it kinda pays off in the end.

Now that tennis is over....

I can resume back to my ordinary life. No more yelling at the TV set anymore.

Nadal won!! Yes!!! Damn, Federer was very emotional. He cried when he won, he cried when he loss. LOL. I think everyone was abit taken back by that. But, it was a very good match!!! There were too many hot shots to count.

I'll miss tennis. AND. I didn't go to Melbourne Park during the two weeks of tennis. Good decision? I think so. I'm saving up ok?? Besides.. it was too hot (and I was too lazy). Hope they don't change the venue next year. But, as long as they continue to broadcast it on Seven, I'm fine.

I'm currently looking up on autism. It's quite a strange brain disorder. Some even claimed it as mental illness, not a disorder.

The reason I'm so interested in autism is because there's this kid named Ian in Roar who is autistic. Yesterday was first day of the first term of Roar. Ian have been coming for the past a year or so. He's quite hyperactive and has to have a one-on-one care. He doesn't sit still. He is always moving about, running around, sometimes screaming. The other kids seems to be very scared of him, thinking he's mad or something. Yesterday, he "accidentally" bumped into one of the girls and made her cry, I had to comfort her.

Quite frankly, it is a genetic disorder. Don't u just hate when problems exist because of ur genes from ur parents. It's like bad luck really, that by chance u just happen to have one too many chromosomes or not enough to make up a normal child. If I were him, I would blame my parents. His parents must have felt very bad to do this to their child. I kinda felt sorry for them, given that I cannot keep him still for like 5 minutes and they have to face this every single day.

But, it's glad to see him coming to Roar. God works in miraculous ways. Maybe it's mend to be, maybe, who knows?? Only God knows. So, I'm looking up to see how to deal with kids like these. Btw, Roar yesterday was great. The yr 2 kids have left and we have got new prep kids. Some of them were teary and clinging onto their parents. But, most of them were great when we brought them in.

Damn Serena won.

But I guess she deserved it. She was the better player all through the tournament. But, still, she have won alot of grand slam title. Doesn't she feel enough?? satisfied?? But, kudos to Safina. Maybe next time.

Watching tennis is quite motivating. I am inspired with these players. They must have worked really hard to get to where they r at. It kinda strived me to do better. I want to be like them, successful in their passion, their career. I want to be good at what I do.

People have told me I stressed too much. I remember my Accounting teacher in Yr 12, Ms. Crooks told me I should slow down, I should take a breath and take things easily. Even my boss said I stress too much. So, I took their advice and slowed down. As a result, I slowed down, and the worst of the worst happen. To be short, last year was quite disappointing. I've let myself go and this happen. I don't think I'm the type to slow down. I don't think U'll ever see me slow down ever again. It's my promise to myself never to ever slow down again. My feet will always be on the pedal.

Ah... another men's final with two of the greats.