Another "I want to be thin" post.

Okay.. so I've been grumbling so much about my figure right?

BUT being me, I imagine if I was a size 8, and think, whether I would be happy or not.

My cousin's wedding is coming in November and if, just if I went back to attend it. Still uncertain at the moment. But if I did, I want to be thin to let the others know how I've change since the last we met last December. I want to prove everyone wrong. Make them feel shock about my sudden figure changed. And this whole drama like "OMG how did she do it??" "OMG damn shock man" kinda thing.

BUT then I thought, hmm.. what if I didn't go back, do I still want to lose it? And my head was heading to no. Because I know that losing weight is a depressing thing. I don't mind the exercise, I would be more than happy to go for runs. Just the diet thing is soooo depressing. Like ur heart is telling u to eat, but ur heart is saying NOOO!!!! And ur caught in between. And once u take a bite, it feels guilty as hell.

Then, I just realised that I want to be thin to please others, to prove them wrong. It wasn't for myself but for others. And it just hit me, how I'm happy with myself. Yeah, I have bIudges here and there but it doesn't seem to bother me. I'm not following society, following what is "acceptable", the stereotype of the day blablabla. But being me.

I know I'm healthy and happy. My heart is for sure pumping well and sure have a low risk of osteoporosis when I get older.