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Oxygen Epic combined meeting today was AWESOME!!

To be honest, I'm not focusing much on God since uni start or even since the start of this year. I've been sinking away from God, slipping through the cracks and doing some things that I know God will be very upset about.

I still spend time with God but not as frequent as I want to. And just then at church, a guilty feeling flow through me. I felt soooooo guilty that I am not spending much time with God and even guilty when Erwin Mcmanus mentioned about Jesus's sacrifice for mankind. How can I do something like this when God has given me alot, uncountable blessings. I feel like I'm not giving much effort to know God deeper.

Other times, I always make time an excuse and now, I have alot of time on my hands BUT I laze around, making other excuses for myself. Excuses that I know God would dislike. Distractions distractions distractions.

Weekend church services has since become a routine for me. Come weekend, church and then the rest of the days of the week it's just busy busy busy and none of God times. And then the weekend rocks up, and church again. These days, church has become more like a confirmation of my spiritual faith. I would feel lost on weekdays and then church comes and I would tell myself this. "No, I'm good. I still believe in Christ. I still love God. I'm not slipping."
But the fact is I've gone far away. It's just myself denying the facts.

I know this is very pathetic.

I need to be self-discipline. I want to get to know God more. All this while, my heart was away, It felt like apart of me has left. I want that back. I've let God down, I've let myself down. I've allowed temptation to eat me. And I am very very saddened about that.

This comes with discipline. But it's worth every bit of it.

Well... church today was great. Met alot of people. I was like wow I know alot of people from church. But didn't get to talk to them personally, just a wave and a hi. But really nice to catch up with heaps of people.