Thin

After looking at pics of some of my Primary School and Secondary School friends on Friendster, I feel really really bad. They look real damn good.

I. WANNA. BE.THIN. *Wails*

If I have to choose between pretty fat or ugly thin. I would choose ugly thin. I would. I wouldn't mind being ugly, I just wanna be thin. To me, once ur thin ur pretty to others regardless if u don't have a pretty face. If that makes sense.

I was once really thin b4 I came here. My friends told me so. Australia ruin it. I want to be thin again. Desperate plea to be thin. But trying to be thin comes at a cost.

Thinking again, I'm much much happier now. Maybe 10x happier.

During my thin days, I did everything to stop myself gaining weight. I didn't eat much, I had to look at other people eat. I remember weighing myself every morning to check that I didn't gain weight. And how I went on a hungry stomach during schooling days. I recall that I was really scared of meat, I stayed clear of meat. Yup, I remember those days. I have to say it was really really stressful. It was very mentally exhausted.

So, never ever look at a thin person and think it's really easy to stay thin. I've been there, it's not easy as u think.

I am much healthier now. My mum told me that I look really yellowish when I was younger. She said I lack iron from not taking enough protein. She said my hair was falling off as a result of less nutrition in my blood. Yup, those days.

I'm confused. Thin is the way. That's what the Asian perception is, from those freaking thin and white Taiwanese people. Someone should end that stereotype! But here in Australia, there's all sorts of girls. From those stick thin girls to full, curvy girls. But again I'm happy with my curvy figure.

Is thin the way?